i had my first ever schnitzel today. i’m not sure if this is true because a schnitzel is just a bit of flat meat in some breadcrumbs. i still don’t know if it was chicken or pork. please don’t ask me the difference between a schnitzel and an escalope as i won’t be able to tell you the answer.

bratwurst is on berwick st in soho and specialises in german sausages. it’s not very german inside, it’s more like an american diner for children.

i decided to get the schnitzel, mash potato and hunter sauce which cost £6.95. i’ll start with the best part – the mash. it was creamy and smooth and better than nando’s mash but probably not as good as mother mash, but i haven’t been there for ages so i can’t really remember.

the unknown meat was probably as big as the hand span of a big man. quite big.  however it was quite tough to cut and a bit tasteless.

the third component of my lunch was the hunter sauce (gravy with mushrooms and onions). on paper it sounded great… in my mouth it upset me. it was ok, it just had a really weird flavour that i couldn’t quite put my finger on.

when we got back to the office some of the boys were jealous of our paper bratwurst bags so they decided to go there too. the boys all ordered different combinations of sausage and here is what they had to say:

“beef bratwurst. it was awesome. good mustard.” RD

“i was left feeling ashamed and lazy. the meal i chose (double curry bratwurst with brotchen roll) consisted of little more than chopped up sausage, a mix of ketchup & curry powder, and a bread roll. i could have concocted this at home last night and brought the leftovers into work today for much less money and with a slightly higher quality of sausage. next time i go out for lunch, i will be selecting a much more elaborate meal – something that is not easily brought to work in the form of leftovers” AH

“i chose the double currywurst, and though i cannot comment on the quality of the mustard (i didn’t have any) it was a tasty and surprisingly light lunch. as an erstwhile aficionado of bratwust i lament my decision to omit the creamy mash from my selection. for £4.95 i have no complaints, and a pleasant after-taste of curry sauce.” MR

“felt like i was finally getting some good ol’ fashioned german lebensmittel in a country filled with pies, curry and asian food… i was excited at first, but a little let down when i realised i was eating out of a styrofoam box that was delivered to me before i could even type my pin into the card machine.” RW

“i had the double currywurst, the quality of curry sauce was trounced by the quality of the mustard. recommend you go with only mustard and ignore the appeal of curry sauce on the menu. bread was good.” SA

so in summary the mustard and bread rolls were the shining stars of the place that prides itself on its gourmet german sausages. i will probably go back to bratwurst because i like the taste of disappointment.

auf wiedersehen!


One thought on “bratwurst.

  1. I have eaten quite a lot of curry wurst and sausage in general (not like that sickos!) Once I ate a german sausage with cheese INSIDE OF IT. Quite a visceral experience I can tell you. My point is that all of the times I have eaten curry wurst (in Germany) it has not really been a taste sensation but more of a cheap fast food eat, like something you would eat at a football game with your dad as a child and remember fondly as opposed to something that is actually DELICIOUS. The sausage has always tasted about the same quality as one of those frankfurters in brine and the sauce strangely sweet but I think it’s that dirtiness that is the most appealing part of it. The difference being that in Germany it costed about a euro and in London it is about 6 times the price and sold at a trendy diner in soho as opposed to a fast food cart on a pavement in east berlin perhaps shrouded by cheap prossies lookin’ for a potential ‘john’. The End.

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