tomato, caper, mozzarella and mint linguine.


if like me, you haven’t been paid since the 23rd of december then you are probably quite poor right now. i am saving all my dinner money so that i can drink 12 rums tomorrow night in soho, so tonight i needed something mega cheap. this pasta dish is mega cheap, and mega easy and is really really tasty. my mum says i bastardise it by adding mozzarella but i don’t care.

here is what you will need:

250g linguine (depending on how hungry you are, this amount was for 2 people)

plum tomatoes

2tbsp capers

2 cloves of garlic

1 red chilli

mozzarella

handful of fresh mint

handful of fresh basil

salt

pepper

olive oil

what to do:

1. boil a pan of water for your pasta

2. finely slice the garlic and chilli then fry in a pan in the olive oil

3. put the tomatoes in a bowl and crush them up a bit them then add them to the chilli and garlic

4. once your pasta is cooked drain it and then add it to the pan with the chilli etc

5. add the capers, mozzarella, mint and basil

6. mix it all together, season and then serve in pasta bowls

7. told you it was easy

spotify radio app.

 

i am probably spotify’s biggest advocate. i know this because i’ve made at least 4 of my friends become premium members, and at £10 a month i should probably be receiving some kind of royalties.

i have recently discovered that the radio app is actually quite good.

if you’re feeling uninspired give it a bash. if you don’t have spotify, i don’t think we can be friends.


 

chilli salt squid.

You will need:

500g squid (cleaned)

1 egg (whisked)

cornflour (for coating the squid)

4 spring onions

2 cloves of garlic

1 red chilli

rock salt

handful of coriander

if you are going to make this i recommend you get the fish man to clean the squid for you as i found the experience quite hideous and my hands smell like a mermaid now. if you don’t know how to clean a squid there a loads of tutorials on youtube, this is the one i watched

what to do:

1. finely chop the chilli, garlic and spring onion.

2. fry in a little oil (don’t rub your eyes like i did, chilli eye hurts)

3. once you have cleaned your fish separate the tentacles from the squid body.

4. lay the squid out flat on a chopping board and split down the length. cut into squares and then score the inside of the fish in cross-hatch pattern (making sure not to go all the way through)

5. coat the pieces of squid in the egg and then in the cornflour

6. heat the oil in a large frying pan and then drop in your squid

7. fry the squid in small batches until golden brown (this takes about 2-3 minutes) then place on kitchen paper to drain the excess oil

8. season the squid with rock salt and pepper, then add the chilli, garlic and spring onion

9. garnish with coriander and serve

this little piggy went to market.

one of my favourite places to go on a saturday is borough market. if you like meat and bread and you own a barbour jacket then you will fit in just fine. me and my friends have a rule that we can never eat the same thing twice, but after my lunch today i think i might have to bend that rule.

if you’re going to head down there then i’ve found it best to go late afternoon as the queues aren’t as big. i’ve always perved on the brindisa spanish chorizo roll stall and after much deliberation i finally plucked up the courage to get one. i did not regret this decision.

it cost me £4.95 and this is what it looked like

this is what your face will look like when you eat it

this is what your trousers will look like if you don’t use a napkin

go and try one ok.

eggscuseme miss.

if you can’t make poached eggs then you should probably learn today. it really is a dying art.

if you have tried but you can’t quite get there, then that’s ok. we can’t all be heroes.

this method will give you perfect runny mozzarella ball poached eggs. i like to serve them on marmite toast (if you haven’t tried it then you really should) with a little ketchup. my sister has salad cream but she is mentally unstable and possibly adopted.

here is what you will need:

1 pan of water

2 eggs

1 tsp white wine vinegar (or malt vinegar is fine)

a teacup (this makes it easier to pour the eggs into the water)

kitchen roll

whisk

what to do:

1. heat the pan of water

2. place 2 eggs into a teacup with the vinegar (make sure the yolks don’t split because that would be rubbish)

3. once the water is boiling turn it down to a simmer

4. now you need to use the whisk to create a little whirlpool of water

5. gently pour in the eggs into the direction of the water

6. set your timer to 3 minutes

7. this is a good time to put your toast on

8. once the 3 minutes are up take out the eggs and place them on the kitchen roll. this will soak up any excess water

9. season your little eggs and wow your friends.


veh nice tom yum soup.

i went through a phase where i was a bit obsessed with making this soup. i’m kind of over it now but a few people have asked for the recipe so here it is…

you will need:

1 litre of chicken stock (i use the liquid stuff but you can use stock cubes if you are poor)

2 tbs fish sauce

juice from 2 fresh limes

2 fresh chillis (remove the seeds and just use one if you are a pussy)

knob (ha) of ginger (peeled and sliced)

2 stalks of lemongrass (chopped in half and crushed a bit)

1 tbs sugar

couple of cloves of garlic

handful of coriander (make sure it’s rinsed as it can be gritty)

4 lime leaves

beansprouts

king prawns (it’s good with chicken too)

what to do:

1. bring the chicken stock to the boil, whilst this is heating up prepare the rest of the ingredients.

2. once boiling bring it back down to a simmer and add the ginger, garlic, lemongrass and chilli.

3. leave this for 10 mins and then squeeze in the juice from the 2 limes, add a tablespoon of sugar and the fish sauce. i then like to leave it for another 10 mins just so all the flavour is released into the stock.

4. add the beansprouts and king prawns. this soup is also great is you have leftover chicken knocking about in the fridge that you want to get rid of.

5. serve in nice little soup bowls like mine and it serve hot. as my mum always says “a tepid tom yum is a friend to no one” (stolen from nigel slater)